We were in one of our couple’s dine out and an engaging discussion on shopping and wants became our hot topic. The other spouses were exchanging notes on what their wives were looking into and why they were important to them. But I having no regard for these things, made one of the husbands call it out “ that’s because you are a low maintenance wife”. This statement brought a huge thought bubble to me… “I am a what?”
I never realized that there was such a description for a kind of wife a husband calls out. I am also quite surprised to know that very few women can carry this title. But nevertheless I consider it a compliment to be one. So what makes one a “low maintenance” wife or woman?
So I asked my husband his thoughts and made him write it.
“She is practical. Items are purchased on the basis of function – given two things that does the same job but with differing prices, practical means get the cheaper one. It though does not mean getting one that breaks easily as practical depends not on price alone but the longevity of the product both in durability & style. In short, it might last a lifetime but if the item goes out in style making it unusable, then it stays in the closet right? It’s ok to spend when necessary but she spends only on things that matter.
You can take her anywhere and she is flexible. Let us take for instance eating out. She can sit and eat in the turo-turo and yet there’s nothing wrong with dining in nice expensive restaurants either. We should ask ourselves these questions:
- Can you afford it?
- Can we hold off for a special occasion to do this and hit two birds with one stone?
- Does give you an experience you can’t get anywhere else?
She is not gravitated to the latest trends. The car is never replaced just because there is a new model out. The only time it is replaced is when the cost to maintain it has become impractical.
Beauty wise, she is neat and clean but not vain. She knows she is beautiful and that flashing a smile and thinking positive thoughts is a more effective way of remaining youthful than regular visits to the salon or dermatologists.
She is is easy to please, easy to get along and tag along with. As an example, during reunions and old friends parties, she is not the type that I’d have to think about and kept entertained. I can just introduce her to my friends and leave her to entertain herself. There are even instances when I take her to a meeting and it turns out she knows more people than I.
In a nutshell, a low maintenance wife is someone who puts value on herself based not on material possessions or even what others think of her but on her character and what God think of her. She is confident and not insecure. She is not a burden to take along not only money wise but also in effort. She doesn’t feel entitled or that the world owes her anything. She is content on what she currently has and although she has dreams & ambitions, accepts with a thankful heart whatever God gives. “
John is right. I believe a lot of men are actually hoping they do get a low maintenance woman.
An excellent wife, who can find?
For her worth is far above jewels.
11 The heart of her husband trusts in her,
And he will have no lack of gain.
12 She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life. – Proverbs 31:10-12
Its not that I don’t have any desire to shop for clothes, shoes, bags and jewelries, because I do. I still want to look good not only for my husband but for me as well. But I just don’t believe that high-end brands complete me. I am not quite the vain type either – It only takes me 5 minutes to beautify. I am a believer that inner beauty is the secret to ignite our outer beauty. I also don’t feel like I have missed out just because I have not tried out the sought out dishes of a restaurant or hotel. Nor will I die just because I was not able to watch this concert or have not travelled to this destination. There will be a right place and time to unravel all of these.
The truth is any woman whether married or not can be a “low maintenance” woman. It begins with understanding that we are complete in Christ. We are not lacking in anything. This mindset sets people free. Free from the need to want something to be complete. There is nothing in this world that can truly make us happy: there will always be a trend, fashion, something new that is never ending. The world will always sell you false happiness: that bag, that beauty trick, that secret diet formula, that “you must try or you never lived” experience. The fact is only that relationship with Jesus can make you truly happy. If you have Jesus – you are complete.
When you are complete there is this unexplainable joy in your heart. You will feel very content. Your situation may not be the best but you can always find something good and beautiful about it. You know how count every blessing. Instead of looking at what you don’t have, you learn to appreciate what you already have.
I learned that usually a low maintenance wife becomes a spoiled wife. This is the secret perk: your husband desires to lavish you because you make it easy for him to lead you. Just this week, my husband felt I needed time to recuperate from everything that happened to me last month. I started to get sick and had no voice. He romantically took me to Phuket for the weekend to REST. I did not demand, require or nagged him for it. He knew that it would take so little to make me happy- even just a simple breakfast date will do but that was his opportunity to spoil me.